An hour ago I read thru Stephanie's post, and ten minutes ago I was sweeping the kithen floor and reflecting further on what she wrote...
I think there is a danger in connecting too much good stuff with the farm. It hasn't always been a place of good memories for the family. Last night wasn't really a good memory either. Yet, there was something powerful about being together. There was something good, not in the sense of happy good but in the sense of Godly good, as I watched Karen and her boys walk around the corner of the burning structure. I believe they were the first of the family to make it almost all the way around the former barn.
When Jill phoned us as she was just getting her first glimpses of the burning structure, I knew we needed to go to the farm. Funny thing. I think it goes back to what Steph wrote. I knew this was a family moment, not a good moment, just a family moment when belonging and experiencing together is important.
And how ironic to think that nearly ten years ago we wished ma/grandma was still around to see the first cows walk into that barn. Had she been there to join us last night, she wouldn't have been happy with Karen, Brad, Mike, and JD finding there way around the barn. I can imagine the words out of her mouth. She wouldn't have liked Anna and Jaden that close to the action either.
And I can't help but think that she would have also been... I would like to say proud, but she never liked anything prideful. I'll say that she would have been pleased that the family all came together. I would like to think that she was present with us last night, but we simply don't know about those kind of things.
I do believe that someday we can share the story of the Sept., 2004 fire with her. Too often the church has suggested things like 'maybe we won't recongize family members' or we 'won't recognize spouses.' It's a theology that suggests we are simply like computers that will have our hard drives erased prior to entering into the perfect presence of God. Somehow, as creatures who have the likeness of the Father, who are called sons and daughters by him, I have little doubt that we will remember much, if not all, of this life.
And I look forward to together telling grandma about the fire on September 27/28 of 2004.
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2 comments:
Thanks, Randy, your post rings true with me. Today I've felt lots of different emotions. Somehow the burning of the barn seems to end another era. The boys seemed to sense that, too, and they were not in a hurry to leave last night. Today both Jade and Brad went back to....who knows...just to see. The fire brought back powerful memories for Mike...he re-lived the scenes of the fire 7 years ago. A lot of their younger years were spent in the barns and on the farm. Not all good memories, to be sure, but good in some important ways~~they learned a lot about being able to work hard and still being able to have fun...impromptu basketball games on break being just one example. I'm sure a lot of those memories were going through their heads last night. Yes, it was good to be "gathered". We need each other "for such a time as this."
Thank you for 2 honest and touching postings.
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