An hour ago I read thru Stephanie's post, and ten minutes ago I was sweeping the kithen floor and reflecting further on what she wrote...
I think there is a danger in connecting too much good stuff with the farm. It hasn't always been a place of good memories for the family. Last night wasn't really a good memory either. Yet, there was something powerful about being together. There was something good, not in the sense of happy good but in the sense of Godly good, as I watched Karen and her boys walk around the corner of the burning structure. I believe they were the first of the family to make it almost all the way around the former barn.
When Jill phoned us as she was just getting her first glimpses of the burning structure, I knew we needed to go to the farm. Funny thing. I think it goes back to what Steph wrote. I knew this was a family moment, not a good moment, just a family moment when belonging and experiencing together is important.
And how ironic to think that nearly ten years ago we wished ma/grandma was still around to see the first cows walk into that barn. Had she been there to join us last night, she wouldn't have been happy with Karen, Brad, Mike, and JD finding there way around the barn. I can imagine the words out of her mouth. She wouldn't have liked Anna and Jaden that close to the action either.
And I can't help but think that she would have also been... I would like to say proud, but she never liked anything prideful. I'll say that she would have been pleased that the family all came together. I would like to think that she was present with us last night, but we simply don't know about those kind of things.
I do believe that someday we can share the story of the Sept., 2004 fire with her. Too often the church has suggested things like 'maybe we won't recongize family members' or we 'won't recognize spouses.' It's a theology that suggests we are simply like computers that will have our hard drives erased prior to entering into the perfect presence of God. Somehow, as creatures who have the likeness of the Father, who are called sons and daughters by him, I have little doubt that we will remember much, if not all, of this life.
And I look forward to together telling grandma about the fire on September 27/28 of 2004.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Fire and Family
After last nights fire, I just thought I should let you guys know what an amazing family we all have. Some friends of mine who came to the fire last night said they couldn't believe how many family members came to the farm last night and how close-knit our family was. So thanks guys! In the past year or so since Calvin, I have really learned how important family is. I have so many friends whose family situation isn't exactly the greatest, if they even have a family at all. So through it all, I have definitly learned to appreciate you guys so much more! I love you all!
Saturday, September 25, 2004
10 Years In Heaven
September 25, 2004. Can you believe it is ten years already? I just re-read the entries in a journal I kept in the days and months after Mom died and would like to share the following entry with you. I think the mystery of heaven is no less a mystery even after 10 years.
October 23, 1994
I wonder what it's like to be in heaven for a month. I cannot stop thinking today about her last two days of life: standing on the verge of eternity, yet still confined to an earthly body. We sat in the living room~captivated by the music, by the darkness of evening, by the candlelight that flickered on the walls, by her hands that searched for ours even after her voice had lapsed into an eternal silence. But what did her eyes see then? What spiritual sense began to grow inside her tired, disease-ridden body? As her earthly senses began to lose their grip on earthly reality, what new and wondrous heavenly sense captured her soul? Was the music in the room merged with the more resonant tones of heaven? Was the candlelight reflecting a more intense and vibrant light of glory? Was the warmth of our love for her the very outside of a cosmic, magnetic love that grew even greater in its dimensions as she released her grasp on life?
We saw her as dying, but what wondrous rebirth was she experiencing? My heart aches to understand this paradox of life and death, this heavenly transformation, this elusive, spiritual miracle that was within our grasp for two days, and yet we had no power to close our fingers around it. We felt it like we felt the angels that hovered near us, yet it was always outside of our eyesight.
Today...one month later...how I would like to go back to those few, precious hours and look and feel and see once more. Was there anything I missed?
Blessings to all of you today! We have missed Mom for 10 years, but we've had each other. That is a good thing. I love all of you!
October 23, 1994
I wonder what it's like to be in heaven for a month. I cannot stop thinking today about her last two days of life: standing on the verge of eternity, yet still confined to an earthly body. We sat in the living room~captivated by the music, by the darkness of evening, by the candlelight that flickered on the walls, by her hands that searched for ours even after her voice had lapsed into an eternal silence. But what did her eyes see then? What spiritual sense began to grow inside her tired, disease-ridden body? As her earthly senses began to lose their grip on earthly reality, what new and wondrous heavenly sense captured her soul? Was the music in the room merged with the more resonant tones of heaven? Was the candlelight reflecting a more intense and vibrant light of glory? Was the warmth of our love for her the very outside of a cosmic, magnetic love that grew even greater in its dimensions as she released her grasp on life?
We saw her as dying, but what wondrous rebirth was she experiencing? My heart aches to understand this paradox of life and death, this heavenly transformation, this elusive, spiritual miracle that was within our grasp for two days, and yet we had no power to close our fingers around it. We felt it like we felt the angels that hovered near us, yet it was always outside of our eyesight.
Today...one month later...how I would like to go back to those few, precious hours and look and feel and see once more. Was there anything I missed?
Blessings to all of you today! We have missed Mom for 10 years, but we've had each other. That is a good thing. I love all of you!
Friday, September 24, 2004
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Woo Woo I did it!
I think I just joined this thing...a lil' lie about the one minute set-up though...its taken me like 10. :) So, lets just hope this all works! Great idea though! And, I just looked at the Lubbers family partial picture... I think we should really have another family picture.....I don't think we have had one since all the cousins started having kids....just a thought though! Love you all!
Rick & Jill's News
Rick has a new job!!! Rick will start working at Pfizer Pharmaceuticals in Holland on October 4. He will be working in the shipping and receiving department. It will not be "typical" factory work...his job will involve a large variety of tasks and he will be moving from building to building throughout the Pfizer facility.
Matt continues to love football...even playing with 2 injured knees, yes 2. His consumption of Ibruprofen may help to give Pfizer employees job security.
Whitney is now 13. One of her friends gave her a kitten for her birthday. That kitten has now gone from 9 lives down to 7...he has survived a leap from the top deck of the house into the bird bath(hilarious !!!) as well as being stepped on the head by Rick (it was an accident...really it was). He walks a little funny now...fits right in.
Stephanie is busy at Calvin...still loves it and is still planning on pursuing nursing..specializing in pediatrics.She turns 20 this year..same age I was when I had her. Hmmmm
Friday, September 17, 2004
Blah,,,Blah,,,Blah
Hey everyone,
I'm on the blog. It's the weekend and I'm very happy. No big plans. Next weekend Scott and I are having a house concert if you wanna come over. It's jazz music. Should be good!
Bye,
Melissa
I'm on the blog. It's the weekend and I'm very happy. No big plans. Next weekend Scott and I are having a house concert if you wanna come over. It's jazz music. Should be good!
Bye,
Melissa
Whitney's Retreat Devotional
The life of a Christian is like the game of softball where God is the pitcher, you are the batter and the ball is the events thrown at you in life. God is in total control and He can throw anything at you. It may seem to be going steady but then all of a sudden it will rise or drop or maybe even curve. Just like life, you never know what’s going to happen. Your job as a Christian is to adjust to whatever is thrown at you. You can take a chance and swing. You may hit one out of the park, but you have to take the risk of a swing and a miss. Or you can play it safe and just take it. But you, as a Christian have to decide whether to take that risk of swinging. Or do you want to play it safe? What kind of Christian are you?
Whitney Lubbers
September 2004
Whitney Lubbers
September 2004
Monday, September 13, 2004
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