Nursing Christmas Humor

T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the floor,
The Lasix was filling the Foleys galore.
Stockings were worn, to prevent emboli,
They came in 2 sizes: knee, and thigh high.

The patients were nestled half-a**ed in their beds,
While visions of stool softeners danced in their heads.
We in our scrubs, and they in their gowns,
Fashions created to hide extra pounds.

When down in ER it became such a zoo,
They called admissions, for me and for you.
They're coming, they're going, they're looking the same,
My patience for patients is starting to wane.

Now call lights are ringing, the patient expounds,
"I've not had my peri-care, send someone down!"
And now delegation seems a good plan.
We pass onto others, the needs of this man.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But Santa himself and 8 tiny reindeer.
He states that he came from Central Supply
To bring us LR, NS, and D5.

The doctors then scribbled what no one could read.
Orders for patients, to measure their pee.
We try to decipher illegible words,
Orders for patients, to guaiac their turds.

The new shift arriving, our day is now through.
How'd stool and emesis get in my shoe?
We give them report and pass on the facts,
Tell of the Douderm lining the cracks.

And the Nurses exclaimed as they drove out of sight,
Ambien to all, and to all a Good Night!!

I have no idea who the author is. I just found this laying around at work. The things that only nurses can understand. :) I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!